Time seems to speed up this time of year.
Darkness descends so quickly each day that I barely get started before it’s time for bed again. Yet the to-do list keeps growing and there are more social events than usual because of the holidays. As an introvert, the gatherings exhaust me. It’s a challenge trying to manage it all - and when things feel overwhelming, I often turn to Mother Nature for guidance.
Yesterday, I wrote this note:
My dog, Charlie, had me up this morning at 430am and we were walking the neighborhood throughout the 5 o’clock hour. As he sniffed around in the dark, I stared up at the stars and found strength. I planned the rest of my morning in my mind with pride.
After returning home, I would first make tea and then meditate for 20 minutes before running on the elliptical for at least 45 minutes. I’d still be able to shower and make breakfast with time to spare. Maybe I’ll read a bit too, I thought, smiling.
Yet once we made it back to the warmth of home, I mindlessly removed my coat and walked upstairs. I slipped back into bed as if the heat evaporated my motivation.
Alas, no multi-pronged approach to self-care was undertaken this morning.
Instead, I slept two more hours and woke again around 8am and spent 30 minutes walking Charlie around his favorite park. My first thoughts on today’s second walk were straight-up rude. You are weak and dumb for not using today’s early start to get ahead. You missed your chance for a much-needed workout and long meditation. And you’re going to keep gaining weight like you’ve been - you’re an idiot.
My inner bitch is cruel.
Charlie interrupted my vicious spiral by reminding me to take my cues from nature.
He found some sticks and enjoyed chewing on the frozen ground for a bit. I paused and remembered the note I wrote the day before. My self-care this morning was sleeping in later than I normally can and going for two walks in nature with my pup instead of one. It may feel like less, but it is plenty at this time of year.
This is a season for rest.
I couldn’t stay still for long, the cold was too much. My fingers were numb so I had to keep moving. Plus, I had to be on my computer by 9am.
After a day of thoughtful work that I enjoy, then a few hours of adulting - including taking Charlie to another park for his dinner-time walk, grocery shopping, and grabbing dinner while out - I am now on the couch relaxing and writing.
Writing is one of the self-care strategies that I turn to most often and I have loved doing it with all the holiday lights on around me. Writing this weekly post for the past year has been therapeutic. Today’s reflection has helped to solidify what I know to be true. It’s not the time to do more, it’s a time to do less.
Doing less includes less negative self-talk for not doing “what I should.” Stopping myself from that cycle of shame that shows up whenever I’m not doing enough. The reframe that helps me in recognizing that rest is the goal.
Capitalism tells us this time of year is about consuming more, and buying more, and doing more. Everyone is talking about coming up with the best gifts, best new recipes, best themed party ideas, even making the best memories with families and friends. There’s so much pressure I might explode.
Instead of giving more and doing more - I’m trying to do less. Slow down. Breathe.
Nature slows down this time of year. The sun is slowing down its annual cycle and about to appear to stop completely for 3 days at the winter solstice ~ If the sun can slow to a stop, we all can give ourselves a break!
Right now, I’m in PJ’s on the couch and I’ve got some tea and a book I’ve been wanting to finish: Like a Normal Person by
(highly recommend!) and hopefully I’ll be asleep soon.This is the type of self-care I need right now. Writing provides me with a profound level of peace and rest in my mind and soul. It allows me to breathe deeply.
Deep rest. It’s my holiday wish for you.
Journal Prompts:
Pick a part of nature and write about what lessons you can take from it. The stars, the sun, the moon, the trees, the ocean, the rivers - pick your favorites and write about their natural rhythms, cycles, and ways of being in the world. How can you be more like them?
Instead of writing a to-do list, write a not-to-do list. Come up with things you can stop doing for this season of darkness. Consider saying no to the holiday party or dinner with friends or deciding to bring a store-bought dish rather than a homemade one. There are many ways to do less and expend less energy.
How can you find deep rest this week? It doesn’t only mean sleeping in (though that’s a lovely idea), it can be doing something that rejuvenates your mind and spirit. What makes you be able to breathe deeply? How can you do more of that?
Join me for my next FREE Workshop - Wake Up & Write - on Friday, January 3 from 9am-945am EST. We'll begin with an activating body scan, then write with powerful prompts for starting the new year with eyes wide open, and end with a community share circle. No writing experience is necessary!
Fragile Thoughts: A Healing Memoir is available anywhere books are sold. My book was published in 2023 by New Degree Press and now the audiobook is live! I’d be honored if you checked it out.
Check out another unknown reviewer of my book, written just 17 days ago from NJ.
Awesome Book! ☆☆☆☆☆ 5 out of 5 stars
A beautiful journey through life, love, addiction, and recovery. It’s a definite page-turner! It took a lot of courage for the author to write this book, so glad she did!
Thank you for reading Write to Heal. Please hit that heart button❤️if you made it this far and join me in the comments or chat to share your thoughts. I’d love to know what gives you a sense of deep rest.
No one is meaner to us than we are. The inner bitch IS cruel. She needs to be hugged, she's super cranky. Hibernation time is upon us. Rest like a cat or dog. They know how to do rest. 💜 Hugs!